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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
lesteslayss
minxie413: “ coolness ”
minxie413

coolness

Source: minxie413

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surprisebitch
brainstatic

I once read about an aquarium that trained the dolphins to pick up any debris in the tank and give it to the trainer in exchange for fish. One dolphin started started hiding paper under a rock and then breaking off small pieces to give the trainer. She also realized that she could get fish for catching a seagull. She soon started to stockpile fish to use as seagull bait, thus creating an exponentially larger seagull problem. Then she taught the other dolphins, which made it worse. So if you ever think dolphins are cute, remember that these little assholes create capitalism of their own volition and are not to be trusted. 

Source: brainstatic
volcainist
accidentalyandere

i never thought i would say this about a fish but wow what an asshole

just-tea-thanks

Science side of tumblr, can I get an explanation?

brevityandclarity

@elodieunderglass

elodieunderglass

(Science lecturer voice) and here we observe a fish just being a real jerk

Student: but why

Me: asshole behavior is a conserved trait in chordates

onlyblackgirl

She found his side hoes.

amethystspaceprincess

That little goth clownfish is just enjoying all the drama

Source: over-sleep
writing-prompt-s

Taking the midnight train

hgk477

  1. Keep an eye out for ghost trains. They pull in more often than you think.
  2. If you hear the flute signal once, enter. If you hear it twice, enter at your own risk. If you hear it three times, run. 
  3. The train does not always enjoy carrying human passengers. 
  4. Make sure to never carry peanut butter in your luggage.
  5. Never wear matching socks.
  6. If a man in an oversized brown coat sits next to you and asks you for the time, tell him it is nine o'clock. He will go away. Eventually. 
  7. Do not eat any food offered to you. 
  8. Do not use the bathrooms between 00:06 and 00:26. 
  9. When you hear the railroad crossing bells, spirits are entering the train. They are passengers just like you.
  10. Always keep your ticket in your right pocket.
  11. Someone will want to buy your ticket. Refuse to sell it at all costs. 
  12. If your ticket changes date, do not be alarmed. 
  13. You might hear weird sounds down the aisle. 
  14. Never fall asleep with your head against the window.
  15. Always count the number of passengers in your carriage. If the number changes before a stop, leave immediately. 
  16. Passengers sometimes change faces.
  17. Always get off at your stop. Not doing so allows for the train to claim you. 
  18. Never ask when the next stop is.
  19. Remember rule 17. 
  20. Do not travel alone, it keeps you sane.
  21. Pixies are your friends, fairies are your foes. Do not trust either though.
  22. If you forget your luggage in the train, it is imperative you forget about it.
  23. Never let the train conductor see you with more than two rings on one hand.
  24. Jack is the good driver, Steve is alright, Martin will get you killed.
  25. Do not leave your seat if the train comes to an abrupt stop in the Middle of Nowhere.
  26. When going through tunnels, the sounds might scare you, but only be frightened once you feel their presence.
  27. Silence is okay. Too much silence is not. 
  28. Pay attention to the lights before getting off; if the lights flicker and dim, think twice about leaving. 
  29. Exit through the right door.
  30. Always thank the tracks for not taking you down the wrong path. 

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Source: hgk477
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